Get Cuttin'

The other day I cut my lawn for the first time this spring.  It took about four minutes to remember why I hate cutting the grass.  I love the look of a nice neat front lawn.  There's no question I've been conditioned like so many others to believe that a neat and tidy and green front lawn makes a home look great.  I grew up with that.  My parents spent hours outside manicuring their lawn  and gardens because that was what people did.  They didn't have the money to hire folks to do it and it was important to them that it always look neat and tidy.  I still remember the first time that my Dad let me cut the lawn.  I can't recall how old I was but I do remember what happened that lost me that chore.  Our front lawn had a hump in the middle of it and I was new at the grass cutting game.  I ran over that hump at full speed and managed to cut the grass at the top of it right down to the root.  A big lawn mower blade scuff right in the middle of my parents pride and joy.  My Dad came home that night, took one look at the new mud colored blemish on his lawn and promptly told me to consider another line of work.  I never cut the grass again at that house.  Eventually I moved to my own place and quickly learned the ins and outs of cutting the lawn.  For a long time I owned a push mower.  It was a good workout and of course a great way to cut the lawn if you're an environmentalist.  I would like to be able to tell you I still have a push mower but the fact is, you have to stay right on top of cutting the lawn if you're working the push mower.  You can never let the grass grow too long or suddenly it's like pushing the mower through quick sand.  Due to the fact that I wasn't a big fan of this chore, I would always leave it as long as I could and that pretty much lead to my decision to push the push mower into the garbage dump.  I now own an electric mower.  Once again I'm on the good side of the environmental argument but my electric mower is the kind with the really, really long extension chord.  I don't care how cool you are, you can't look cool cutting the lawn with a bright yellow extension chord getting in your way constantly.  Whipping the thing from the left to the right and having it whip your leg like a twisted up beach towel.  Yanking on it when you've run out of chord and find that you've either just pulled all the lawn furniture off the porch or the mower just died because you just pulled the plug out of the handle.  At best you'll look a bit clumsy out there, at worst, you'll run over the chord and really look clumsy as your body shakes from the inevitable electric shock.  Currently my big long yellow extension chord has at least five places on it where it's been patched with electric tape to cover over the gouges in the chord.  I am an industrial accident waiting to happen.  Regardless of that, the job must be done.  I do find it odd though as I throw fertilizer on my lawn, thinking about how, this is just going to make the grass grow faster and thicker and that means I'm just going to have to cut it more. The only upside of that is, once it is cut, man does it look good.  A freshly cut, neatly manicured front lawn still impresses me,  especially this time of year.  Since I know that it won't be long and I'll have to pour water on it so that I can keep cutting it.  Wow, when you put it that way, suddenly paving the whole thing over, doesn't sound like a bad idea. Until We Type Again, Take It Ease !